Back on SL

Alais is back :D

Inter species intercourse

First came the arse sniffing

And then Lazy, Bel and I were witness to the answer of that age old question of what happens when a horny Katt and a horny dog get together? ... They 69... It must be true love!!!

Congrats Peri x

A big congratulations to my SL partner Perice Boucher on becoming a Zombie King.

I'm sooooo proud and sooooo happy.

Love you baby xxx

Congrats also to Kaitlynne Karu on becoming a Queen
We luff you hunny x

My Talented BF (He's gonna hate me doing this)

Peri's profile pic

My profile pic

Peri made both of these profile pics. I, and others, think they are excellent.
I tell him he should do it for others and charge, he said he'll run out of ideas.

Well if or when you do baby, just stop doing them :P

I'm gonna get told off now for putting this up on my blog, he's so modest XD

☠ Zombie Superiority Confirmed ☠

Zombie Jesus

~ Some moron on Dubya “Oh! So, Jesus was a zombie then?”

~ a Japanese schoolchild on Jesus “Sweet Zombie Jesus!”
~ Hubert J. Farnsworth on The Big Z-J “Yes?”
~ Zombie Jesus on the above quotes “The only thing worse than being talked about is having Zombie Jesus eat your face off.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Zombie Jesus “Graaaagh! Am Zarmbah G-Zaz!”

~ Zombie Jesus on Himself “He died for your sins, now he's back for your brains!”
~ Noah on Zombie Jesus “Well at least its not Irish Zombie Jesus”

~ Osama Bin Laden on the increase of snakes on his planes “Jesus loves everyone.........'s brains”
~ Bill Clinton on Zombie Jesus “Then jesus was a zombie..”
~ Anthony Morgan on Zombie Jesus “zombie jesus tickled my scrotum with a radioactive lazerbeam once ..”

~ joseph on Zombie Jesus Zombie Jesus is notoriously hard to put down.

It was as the subtle, burning glances of His onlooking Roman captors, the angry, Jewish rabble, and remorsefully sullen followers became more stricken with terror, fright, and penance that Zombie Jesus returned to this world, forcing his broken, tired limbs, blood-stained from the mortal wounds he had suffered, to pull his undead carcass from the rough hewn Cross so that he might seek the most appropriate Earthly sustenance deserved of the sacrificed son of God: a crimson river of Flesh and Brains to satiate his heavenly hunger.

History

After dying, Jesus was raised from the dead and once more walked among the living. This, of course, would only be possible if he were a zombie; Zombie Jesus is the identity of Jesus following the Resurrection.

In zombie form, Jesus retained his unending love for mankind, in particular, he loved their sweet, delectable brains. Many of his followers were surprised when, instead of offering God's salvation, Zombie Jesus voraciously consumed their faces.

It is now widely believed today that Jesus was the source breeder of modern-day zombies, since when he resurrected, he infected his disciples with the blood of the new "Holy Alliance", thus founding the basis for whole new era of zombie mayhem, unseen since the infection of elite Greek philosophers by Zombie Plato several centuries before.

This new batch of zombies later developed the Roman Catholic Church, once the entire Roman empire political elite was zombified on-the-spot by Alberto the Great (who was actually a zombie-vampire hybrid created by Constantine with the help of his right hand, Albert Einstein). It is a fact known today that the Catholic Church is full of zombies, and the higher position of authority is occupied by a hive-mind zombie-vampire called "Zombie Pope".

Teachings and Acts of Zombie Jesus Zombie Jesus contemplating ecumenical matters.Zombie Jesus' words and acts are recorded in one of the apocryphal books (books which were not included in the New Testament by the Catholic Church), the "Book of Brains". The most famous part of the "Book of Brains" is the "Parable of the Brains", in which Zombie Jesus spoke unto the assembled masses: "Braaaiiins.... braaaiiinnnss... braaaaiinss!!" (in the original Greek of the Gospel, "μυαλό.... μυααααλό.... μυααααλό!!!").He then told everyone to let him eat their brains so they could go to heaven.Then the communistic, nazi Romans stuck him to a cross.And poor Zombie Jesus starved to life.

Defeating Zombie Jesus

Unlike the common zombie or the common Jesus, Zombie Jesus is notoriously difficult to put down. The garden-variety zombie can be killed by a shovel to the brain, but only the Soviets (and Cthulhu armed with a pair of Sephiroth-chucks) could defeat Zombie Jesus. And it took more than your regular garden variety cancer to do this. The Soviets had massive amounts of nuclear waste after the Warm War, so they decided to dump it all over the world.

One day, while shuffling around looking for delictable brains, Zombie Jesus stumbled upon a radioactive lump of waste. It instantly absorbed him and began to mutate him, soon he was no longer a zombie, for he began to grow in size and tentacles erupted from his sides, this is how the Kraken was created.

He lived as a Kraken for many years, but only made several little Kraken babies, that is the reason we have so few Kraken today. After some years of being a Kraken he swam into a floating radioactive lump dumped into the ocean by the Soviets. He was mutated back into the form of a man, which was very short lived for he was quickly killed by a Nazi, because despite being a former Messiah, zombie, and Kraken, he was still a Jew, and Nazis hate Jews.

The title of Mel Gibson's upcoming flick, Night of the Living Christ.He naturally re-rose from the dead as a zombie three days later to continue his endless slaughter (this occasion is celebrated by Zombie Easter, in which people put up decorations of the Zombie Easter Bunny). When his terrified victims voiced their doubt that Zombie Jesus could have returned yet again, he offered to let them feel the shovel-shaped hole in his skull. Their disbelief assuaged, Zombie Jesus happily ate their faces off.

Zombie Jesus was defeated again in 1369 AD when he was tricked by a priest into consuming a host. After being informed he had just consumed his own body, Zombie Jesus vanished in a puff of brain dust.

Scientologists, however, believe this was a coincidence, and that instead, the Undead Savior was blown up by some method, scattering his essence throughout the atmosphere. If this is the case, it is likely that the eventual incorporation of his molecules into every living thing gave rise to the saying that "Zombie Jesus lives in all of our hearts."....or that the inhalation of a formerly undead savior will cause breathing complications.

It seems likely that if the Scientologists' claim is to be believed, Zombie Jesus may have been killed by an apple pie, the polar opposite of zombie. However, the only kind of apple pie that Zombie Jesus is not resistant to is Satan's Apple Pie, which was lost after Zombie Jesus was killed. There is no evidence for this claim, and when asked, Satan responded, "What the hell are you talking about? Get the hell out of... hell!"

The Third Coming of Zombie Jesus was in 1945, when he dropped from the skies onto Japan - often mistaken as the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima. After a brief street brawl with Godzilla, he went on to try conquer Kentucky, USA, in a feeble attempt to discover KFC's secret ingredient. After stopping in New Mexico for a Taco break, a fight with Optimus Prime (5th presindent of the USA) led them both to fly into outer space and collide into Pluto. This in turn made the planet move 10,000,000 miles backwards and it apparent reduction in size led astronomers to degrade it to a "dwarf planet" - much the the shame of Walt Disney. Zombie Jesus has yet to be heard of since.

Will Zombie Jesus rise yet again? Only time may tell.

Zombie Jesus in popular culture

Zombie Jesus is commemorated in the popular Jesusmas song,

Away in a Graveyard:

Away in a graveyard,

a stone overhead

The zombie lord Jesus

is raised from the dead

The bones and the corpses

are at his command

And rise like their master

to swarm o'er the land!

The women are screaming,

then running away

Poor Mary and Martha

are gnawed where they lay

I fear thee, lord Jesus,

your curséd undeath

With worms in your bowels

and rot on your breath.

Have mercy, lord Jesus,

don't eat me today

Next year I'll be bigger,

I promise! I pray

Some shaman or rabbi

or priestess or such

Will stake you and save us

from your deadly touch.

Vampire Jesus?

Yeah, the 'wine-is-my-blood' thing wasn't metaphorical. 12 undead disciples, suckah!Some theologians and religious scholars have argued that certain translations of the Gospel, as well as some parts of other translations, point to the possibility that Jesus came back not as a zombie, but as a vampire. If this is true, certain parts of the Gospel that seemed a bit odd could be easily explained. Such as the fact that Zombie(?) Jesus was not killed by a shovel in the head, as his head was not actually completely removed, and his apparent desire to have his followers drink his blood (something zombies have no taste for, as they can't chew it). This would also explain the inherent fear of crosses that all vampires seem to have.

Judas if often portrayed as being the very essence of evil by many Chirst fags however it is apparant to the intelligent population that Judas was in fact the original vampire slayer and the ancestor of Simon Belmont. With the help of his greatest friend and ally Ponchos Pilot, Judas was able to defeat Vampire Jesus following his ressurection. The vampire slayer whip, which played a crucial role in the defeat of Vampire Jesus, was actually crafted by a distant relative of Jesus named Jewsus who always had a burning hatred for the devilish carpenter.

The debate over whether Jesus came back as a zombie or a vampire caused yet another schism in the Christian Church, and forming two new Christian denominations: Zombie Christians and Vampire Christians. About half of the population of Vampire Christians claim that they converted because "Vampires are just so much more awesome than zombies". These people were insane, of course. Zombies are far superior.

In recent decades there has been a movement to reconcile the two factions by declaring that Jesus was both zombie and vampire. This can best be seen with the song "Days of Swine and Roses" by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult which has as part of its chorus the words "Christian Zombie Vampires".

Trivia

Rob Zombie is a rip-off of Zombie Jesus.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Zombie_Jesus

The new Messiah or just a Hitler wannabe?

Think what you may about you like about our Fearless leader Zip Paz, some factions within the group believe that he is the new Messiah, other factions such as that headed by Princess Chilehead Masala ~ The Destroyer Of Universes, believe that Zip is too stupid to detatch the rolled up jeans prims on his legs when he undresses so therefore cannot possibly be considered for election as the new Messiah. Candidates suggested by Mas included: Drax Exonar, Gabba Loon and Ryan Hydroconis who we all know to be among Mas's many ridiculous Alts.

When asked to comment Princess Chilehead Masala said "Zip is too busy with his incredible pooping dogs to see what is right under his nose".

Remember Zombies...you read it here first.

☠ Humpy, humpy ☠

Zombies showing our great leader some love whilst he was AFK.

He pretended to be all freaked out by it when he came back, but we know he gets off on it :P

Back!!!

I'm back...hope nothing too exciting happened whilst I was away, you know how I like to be in on all the action.

Missed you all loads and and looking forward to logging in and seeing you all. Lubbly jubbly xxx