Alais is back :D
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Sunday, 9 August 2009
Posted by Alais Fiertze at 13:57
Friday, 31 July 2009
We luff you hunny x
Posted by Alais Fiertze at 01:09
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
My profile pic
Peri made both of these profile pics. I, and others, think they are excellent.
I tell him he should do it for others and charge, he said he'll run out of ideas.
Well if or when you do baby, just stop doing them :P
I'm gonna get told off now for putting this up on my blog, he's so modest XD
Posted by Alais Fiertze at 05:31
Sunday, 19 July 2009
~ Hubert J. Farnsworth on The Big Z-J “Yes?”
~ Zombie Jesus on the above quotes “The only thing worse than being talked about is having Zombie Jesus eat your face off.”
~ Noah on Zombie Jesus “Well at least its not Irish Zombie Jesus”
~ Bill Clinton on Zombie Jesus “Then jesus was a zombie..”
~ Anthony Morgan on Zombie Jesus “zombie jesus tickled my scrotum with a radioactive lazerbeam once ..”
It is now widely believed today that Jesus was the source breeder of modern-day zombies, since when he resurrected, he infected his disciples with the blood of the new "Holy Alliance", thus founding the basis for whole new era of zombie mayhem, unseen since the infection of elite Greek philosophers by Zombie Plato several centuries before.
Teachings and Acts of Zombie Jesus Zombie Jesus contemplating ecumenical matters.Zombie Jesus' words and acts are recorded in one of the apocryphal books (books which were not included in the New Testament by the Catholic Church), the "Book of Brains". The most famous part of the "Book of Brains" is the "Parable of the Brains", in which Zombie Jesus spoke unto the assembled masses: "Braaaiiins.... braaaiiinnnss... braaaaiinss!!" (in the original Greek of the Gospel, "μυαλό.... μυααααλό.... μυααααλό!!!").He then told everyone to let him eat their brains so they could go to heaven.Then the communistic, nazi Romans stuck him to a cross.And poor Zombie Jesus starved to life.
Defeating Zombie Jesus
The title of Mel Gibson's upcoming flick, Night of the Living Christ.He naturally re-rose from the dead as a zombie three days later to continue his endless slaughter (this occasion is celebrated by Zombie Easter, in which people put up decorations of the Zombie Easter Bunny). When his terrified victims voiced their doubt that Zombie Jesus could have returned yet again, he offered to let them feel the shovel-shaped hole in his skull. Their disbelief assuaged, Zombie Jesus happily ate their faces off.
Zombie Jesus was defeated again in 1369 AD when he was tricked by a priest into consuming a host. After being informed he had just consumed his own body, Zombie Jesus vanished in a puff of brain dust.
Scientologists, however, believe this was a coincidence, and that instead, the Undead Savior was blown up by some method, scattering his essence throughout the atmosphere. If this is the case, it is likely that the eventual incorporation of his molecules into every living thing gave rise to the saying that "Zombie Jesus lives in all of our hearts."....or that the inhalation of a formerly undead savior will cause breathing complications.
It seems likely that if the Scientologists' claim is to be believed, Zombie Jesus may have been killed by an apple pie, the polar opposite of zombie. However, the only kind of apple pie that Zombie Jesus is not resistant to is Satan's Apple Pie, which was lost after Zombie Jesus was killed. There is no evidence for this claim, and when asked, Satan responded, "What the hell are you talking about? Get the hell out of... hell!"
The Third Coming of Zombie Jesus was in 1945, when he dropped from the skies onto Japan - often mistaken as the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima. After a brief street brawl with Godzilla, he went on to try conquer Kentucky, USA, in a feeble attempt to discover KFC's secret ingredient. After stopping in New Mexico for a Taco break, a fight with Optimus Prime (5th presindent of the USA) led them both to fly into outer space and collide into Pluto. This in turn made the planet move 10,000,000 miles backwards and it apparent reduction in size led astronomers to degrade it to a "dwarf planet" - much the the shame of Walt Disney. Zombie Jesus has yet to be heard of since.
Will Zombie Jesus rise yet again? Only time may tell.
Zombie Jesus in popular culture
Judas if often portrayed as being the very essence of evil by many Chirst fags however it is apparant to the intelligent population that Judas was in fact the original vampire slayer and the ancestor of Simon Belmont. With the help of his greatest friend and ally Ponchos Pilot, Judas was able to defeat Vampire Jesus following his ressurection. The vampire slayer whip, which played a crucial role in the defeat of Vampire Jesus, was actually crafted by a distant relative of Jesus named Jewsus who always had a burning hatred for the devilish carpenter.
The debate over whether Jesus came back as a zombie or a vampire caused yet another schism in the Christian Church, and forming two new Christian denominations: Zombie Christians and Vampire Christians. About half of the population of Vampire Christians claim that they converted because "Vampires are just so much more awesome than zombies". These people were insane, of course. Zombies are far superior.
In recent decades there has been a movement to reconcile the two factions by declaring that Jesus was both zombie and vampire. This can best be seen with the song "Days of Swine and Roses" by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult which has as part of its chorus the words "Christian Zombie Vampires".
Think what you may about you like about our Fearless leader Zip Paz, some factions within the group believe that he is the new Messiah, other factions such as that headed by Princess Chilehead Masala ~ The Destroyer Of Universes, believe that Zip is too stupid to detatch the rolled up jeans prims on his legs when he undresses so therefore cannot possibly be considered for election as the new Messiah. Candidates suggested by Mas included: Drax Exonar, Gabba Loon and Ryan Hydroconis who we all know to be among Mas's many ridiculous Alts.
Posted by Alais Fiertze at 05:18
Thursday, 16 July 2009
Posted by Alais Fiertze at 07:56